Bird $hit on my Face!

Friends, once and a while you run across something that you just don’t know if its truly bizarre or quite revolutionary.  How ’bout this – wait for it… Paying $180.00 for a Bird Poop Facial!  I mean, let me rush right out… Holy crap!  Ok, so the deal is that you can go to the  Shizuka New York skin care salon, just off Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue and get this done.  bird-shit-missileIts called the “Nightingale Treatment” because the active ingredients are imported Asian nightingale excrement mixed with rice bran.  The salon owner says “I’m trying to bring Japanese beauty secrets to the United States…”  The Geisha Facial poop treatment, while relatively rare in the United States, is no secret in Japan, where it was first used in the 1600s by actors and geishas.  I think I’ll make an appointment… Ok, so those of you who have chickens in your yard, The Villainous VooDoo just gave you a way to supplement your income.  ‘Chicken $hit Facials’, the latest thing in glamorous skin care.  I could be rich…

It wasn’t me, you can’t prove a thing…

Jersey_JoesIt seems a San Diego, Ca. pizzaria owner is adding his own ‘special ingedient’ to the pizza sauce.  Allegedly.  The owner of ‘Jersey Joes Pizzaria’ denies he’s the one in the photo seen circulating the internet.  Really…  It seems more than a few customers watched this and other lewd acts through an unsecured wireless video feed and commented about it on Yelp.  ‘I was setup!’, Giusepp “Jersey Joe” Scire cries after ‘recently firing two guys’.  I for one will be lining up for this weeks special, New York Style with pepperoni and extra white sauce…

UPDATE – 08/15/13 – Hey, this pizza / webcam thing is catching on!  How ’bout some hot lesbian action while you’re chow’n down

Are you Fu(k!ng kidding me?!

First of all, who gives a single solitary shit about Lindsay Lohan?  Apparently Oprah Winfrey does as she has agreed to produce an eight-part docu-series about Lohan’s ‘journey to rebuild her career and stay sober.’  I’m laughing so loud I think my small intestines are coming out!  Career? Please…  And to stay sober?  lohan-drunkShe is way too much of a party-girl for that.  This means one thing and one thing only – MONEY.  Lohan is just spent and her career is non-existent.  She needs the cash to pay her lawyers and to support her habit.  With any luck, she’ll OD on something and save us the trouble.  I personally wouldn’t waste my time on this.

UPDATE – 08/15/13 – What did I tell you?  She wants the cash!  Vanity Fair is reporting that Oprah is giving Lindsay Lohan $2 million and a couple of flunkees to get her through the interview.  Her lawyers are probably happy; they can finally get paid!

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