Skydiving Planes Collide – Son!

This can't be good...

This can’t be good…

Two Wisconsin skydiving planes collided in mid-air as a helmet camera captured the scene.  Video of the incident, showing skydivers jumping in droves to safety on Saturday while one plane breaks apart in a fireball 12,000 feet above the ground.  It could have been worse – how ’bout 500 feet over an abandoned airfield in Gadsden, AL with swarming redneck armed with shotguns… Oh, wait… that’s another story.  Nine skydivers and two pilots were on board the two craft. All survived what could have been a fatal disaster.  Did I say Son?  Son!

“We were just a few seconds away from having a normal skydive when the trail plane came over the top of the lead aircraft and came down on top of it,” Mike Robinson, a skydiving instructor and safety supervisor, said. “It turned into a big flash fireball and the wing separated.”  Time to exit quick, fast and in a hurry!

Video shows chaos and panic during what was supposed to be the last dive of the day.  As two skydivers prepare to jump in a formation, another plane comes up from underneath them and the two aircraft collide. One man can be heard screaming “No!” as he jumps and tumbles through the air. The other skydivers follow suit.

“All of us knew we had a crash,” Robinson said. “The wing over our head was gone, so we just left.”

The divers opened their chutes and all landed safely. The pilot of the plane that caught on fire deployed an emergency parachute and glided safely to the ground as debris came crashing down.  The pilot of the second plane was able to safely land the aircraft despite damage to the propeller and wing.  The FAA is investigating the crash.

SOURCE – Huffington Post

RELATED – Calif. Man Skydives on 100th Birthday!

Man Gets Penis Stuck In Toaster…

man-loving-toasterFriends, what is it with penises and household items?  Villainous VooDoo recently reported on a man with a fork in his penis.  Now we have some sick-o that apparently got his penis caught in a toaster!?  WTF!  The report says it was unclear exactly what the guy was up to, but just let your imagination run wild.  I got it! he was trying to even out his tan!  Fortunately London’s finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.  Unbelievably, another adventurer rivaled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner.  In the last three years, London fire crews have been called out to:

  • 18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats
  • 5 incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders
  • 79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs
  • 9 instances of men with rings stuck on their penises
  • 4 incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders
  • 17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.
  • A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo
  • A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine
  • A child with its head trapped in an ironing board
  • An adult stuck in a child’s toy car
  • A child with its head stuck in a massage chair
  • A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase
  • Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger
  • A man with a tambourine stuck on its head
  • A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger

What the hell are those Brits up to?  I mean, how the hell do you get a tambourine stuck on your head?  Exactly what were you doing?  Damn Son!, here’s your sign…

Source – Mirror

Pucker-factor way up!

atomic_bomb_explosionFriends, the Villainous VooDoo wasn’t around in 1961 but when I read that a U.S. atom bomb nearly exploded in over North Carolina that would have been 260 times more powerful than the device that devastated Hiroshima, I almost shat myself.

The Guardian newspaper said a document, obtained by investigative journalist Eric Schlosser under the Freedom of Information Act, gave the first conclusive evidence that the United States came close to a disaster in January 1961.  The incident happened when two Mark 39 hydrogen bombs were accidentally dropped over Goldsboro, North Carolina, after a B-52 bomber broke up in midair.  There has been persistent speculation about how serious the incident was and the U.S. government has repeatedly denied its nuclear arsenal put Americans’ lives at risk through safety flaws, the newspaper said.  But the newly published document said one of the two bombs behaved exactly in the manner of a nuclear weapon in wartime, with its parachute opening and its trigger mechanisms engaged. Only one low-voltage switch prevented a cataclysm.  Fallout could have spread over Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and even New York City, the paper said, threatening the lives of millions of people.

Three of four safety mechanisms designed to prevent unintended detonation failed to operate properly in the bomb.  When the bomb hit the ground, a firing signal was sent to the nuclear core of the device and it was only the final, highly vulnerable switch that averted a disaster.  Holy $hit!  Let’s hope the modern US nuclear arsenal is protected by more than just a few toggle switches…

SOURCE – Huffington Post

Break into and Rob a Prison? Hell yeah!…

BurglarFriends, normally I wouldn’t condone crime in any way, but I found this to be quite novel.  It seems some thieves in northern Italy broke into a prison and made off with a safe containing thousands of euros in the early hours of Wednesday 9/18.  The audacious theft occurred shortly after midnight when the robber(s) eluded surveillance systems and entered the director’s office at the prison in Pavia, near Milan.  The safe, which was removed whole from the wall and spirited away, contained approximately 5,000 euros ($6,700). Police are investigating the incident. Genius!  OK, I’m thinking inside job.  Has to be!  First, the thief (or thieves) has to gain entry into the prison.  I’m sure even in Italy, you just don’t waltz into a prison without someone seeing you.  Next, the safe.  How did the perpetrators know it was there and was worth the effort (Euros inside)?  Now the burglar(s) has to exit undetected with a safe in tow.  The way I see it, a ‘person of interest’ would have 1) intimate knowledge of the layout and surveillance systems of the prison and 2) knew the safe was in the office with the money inside.  I got it!  It was Mr. Green with the candlestick in the conservatory!  Seriously, this had to be either someone on the Directors staff or one of the guards.  At the very least, the intel for the job came from the inside.  We’ll see; the Villainous VooDoo has spies everywhere.  More to come…

Source: Reuters

Can’t hit the bowl?, try the ‘Pee Straight’…

PeeStraightFriends, I just couldn’t make this $hit up.  An entrepreneur in the southern Chinese city of Shenzhen has unveiled a contraption designed to help those who miss the mark at a urinal: the ‘Pee Straight.’  The invention came in the wake of a new law known as the Shenzhen City Public Toilet Management Act, which allows sanitation managers and other officials to slap a $15 fine on those caught making a mess of municipal toilets while relieving themselves. Oh!, Oh!, thats a job I want! – ‘Pisser Watcher’.  The law also cracks down on anybody defacing, littering or smoking in public privies.  The Pee Straight is a simple contraption. A standard funnel affixed to what appears to be a 10-inch piece of tube pipe, the device comes in his and hers versions — hers has a shorter pipe — and is being marketed to those who have trouble with their aim.  How many idiots are going to carry around one of these ‘devices’ to make sure they hit the spot?  WTF! – just grab that thing and point it towards the fu(king bowl!  Well I’m going to rush right out with my $1.65 US and pickup my own ‘Pee Straight’ today.  After watching the video, I knew I had to have one!  Wait!, I’ve got a better idea, the ‘$hit Straight’!  This could work!  The $hit straight is a plastic ‘ramp’ you strap to your ass just before sitting on the throne.  As you begin to $hit, the ramp guides the excriment ‘straight’ down into the bowl with no chance of missing or excess splashing.  For those ‘explosion’ times, the $hit straight will reduce the ‘splatter effect’ and the amount of associated wiping.  I’ll be taking orders…

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