Cake-O-Matic? Yes Please!

Friends, once in a while you run across a true genius.  A person of exceptional vision and keen design skills that delivers to market a product like no other.  Extreme inventor Colin Furze has created the ultimate way to eat cake.  1 man, 8 spoons, Dude!  The Villianous VooDoo is seeking exclusive distribution rights in the US…

Man Hides Gun In Rectum!? What the…

Friends, this goes way beyond smuggling a dime of weed or a balloon with some crack in it. There are some places you should definitely not hide a gun. Police in North Carolina believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation, a suspect managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison by concealing the weapon in his rectum. One day later, officers confiscated the .38 revolver from the jail cell of Michael Leon Ward, a statement from the Onslow County Sheriff’s Office explains.

gun_in_rectum

They’d performed a strip search on Ward and even required that he “squat and cough” to see if he held any contraband, but nothing turned up. He was initially arrested because police allegedly found drugs and related paraphernalia during the traffic stop. Jailhouse guards discovered the handgun in the toilet after other inmates reported Ward. I want to know who’s the poor rookie that’s going to have to do a$$hole searches from now on; Damn! Michael, here’s your sign…

SOURCE: TheSmokingGun.com

The Villainous VooDoo guide to Liberalese…

liberal-crapFriends, have you ever been around a staunch Liberal? I know, I try to avoid them too but sometimes it unavoidable. I also know it’s next to impossible to listen to the political “I deserve to have everything you worked for” crap that constantly exits their mouths but the Villainous VooDoo is here to help with yet another public service. The Liberalese Translator! Yes, friends the handy pocket guide will aid you in trying to understand the whiney Liberal.  Picture yourself standing in line at the grocery checkout counter.  As the Liberals in front of you unload a basket of free Obama cheese, all you hear about is how horrible Oil Drillers are trampling all over the endangered dirt.  You scratch your head with a confused look.  Read on…

The Liberalese Translator:

LIBERALESE: NORMAL PEOPLE:
Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands Swamp
Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed Well-protected
Narrow-minded Righteous
Taxes, or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft
Gun Control Gun Confiscation
Illegal, Hazardous Explosives Fireworks, or Stump Removal
Equal Access to Opportunity Socialism
Multicultural Community High Crime Area
Fairness, or Social Progress Marxism
Upper Class, or “The Rich” Self-Employed
Progressive, or Change Big Government
Homeless, or Disadvantaged Bums
Sniper Rifle Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future Higher Debt & Taxes
Healthcare Reform Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed Criminal, Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee Overpriced Coffee
Exploiters, or “The Rich” Employed, or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby NRA Members
Assault Weapon Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1) Carbine
Fiscal Stimulus New

The VooDoo is also excited to bring you an exciting new product, The “How to Recognize a Liberal” video series. Check out this free sample:

My role as an “IT Expert”…

Friends, are any of you an “IT Expert?”  Are you simultaneously heralded as the office genius by some and a complete idiot by others?  Is requirements that border on insanity or delivery expectations so tight you’ll need to clone yourself to be on-time part of your daily life?  We’ve all been there at least once or twice while working on a good-sized project.  You get called into a meeting and find yourself sitting across the table from people that have no earthly idea what exists in the realm of achievable.  Sound like you?  I ran across this video that should brighten your day…

Another good one:

Enjoy!

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