This one just about pegged out my weird-$hit-o-meter. Some 70 year old grandpa from Canberra, Australia jammed a 10cm piece of cutlery into his appendage for (wait for it…) sexual pleasure! I don’t know about you, but when I need some self-satisfaction, I always reach into my silverware drawer too. The medics managed to remove the item using forceps and “copious lubrication” – but the patient had to go under general anaesthetic. Come to think about it, the last time I pulled a salad spoon out of my dick, it tickled a little too! The doctors said that it was unusual to see objects lodged in the urinary tract. Really? The Mirror Article goes on to say that the International Journal of Surgery Case Report lists other objects found in other patients, including wire, Allen keys, toothbrushes, light bulbs, thermometers, plants, vegetables, leeches, snakes and glue. Glue? WTF! I want to meet the guy that put glue up his penis. What’s the pleasure in that? If you know, please email me. Anyway, apparently this guy doesn’t have a woman or she’s not butter’n his bread. Either way… A fork up your penis? Fu(k that!