My Crapper got Hacked!

Jesus, you can’t even take a $hit in peace!  Of course, being the only male in my house, that was always true but now watch out where you crap in public, you could get hacked with your pants down!  A Japanese manufacturer is turning out a $6000.00 toilet which is controlled by an Android app.  IFW_HackingThis marvel of modern engineering contains a hardware flaw which allow anyone with the app on their phone to control the features of the unit.  I could see it now: I just sat down after a monster 5-bean and cheese burrito to relieve myself of the oncoming results of the meal.  As I’m doing my business, some punk with a smart phone walks in and decides he wants to have some fun.  First the toilet flushes by itself.  No problem, saves me the trouble.  Next the lid begins to slap my ass repeatedly as the bidet and air-dry mechanisms shoot $hitty water all over my pant legs.  Of course, I’d have to run-down the little bastard with the phone and deliver some VooDoo instant justice (use your imagination).  Friends, some things are best left low-tech.  This is decidedly one of them…

She put the body in the freezer…

Friends, if you’re going to ‘off’ someone, don’t put the body in a freezer inside your own storage unit!.  Apparently a Ventura, Ca. resident Mary Hannan helped her son store the body of her boyfriend after he killed him.  “…What’s that?, you whacked who?, you want me to do what?… no problem; I’ll meet you at my storage unit.  No one will ever know…”  Idiots.  I don’t know how long the victim was on ice but he was reported missing in July 2011.  Damn!  If this would have happened somewhere in the deep south or ‘Bunny Kill, Kentucky”, I would have said “…Of course!, makes perfect sense…”  I like to think that those of us on the ‘Left Coast’ are a bit more sophisticated in our murders.  Out here, for example, we use chippers and acid to dispose of bodies.  At the very least we throw their ass in the ocean for the sharks!  Not that the Villainous VooDoo condones murder in any way (for the lawyers).  The point is put the body in someone else’s freezer, not yours.  Mary, here’s your sign…

Bird $hit on my Face!

Friends, once and a while you run across something that you just don’t know if its truly bizarre or quite revolutionary.  How ’bout this – wait for it… Paying $180.00 for a Bird Poop Facial!  I mean, let me rush right out… Holy crap!  Ok, so the deal is that you can go to the  Shizuka New York skin care salon, just off Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue and get this done.  bird-shit-missileIts called the “Nightingale Treatment” because the active ingredients are imported Asian nightingale excrement mixed with rice bran.  The salon owner says “I’m trying to bring Japanese beauty secrets to the United States…”  The Geisha Facial poop treatment, while relatively rare in the United States, is no secret in Japan, where it was first used in the 1600s by actors and geishas.  I think I’ll make an appointment… Ok, so those of you who have chickens in your yard, The Villainous VooDoo just gave you a way to supplement your income.  ‘Chicken $hit Facials’, the latest thing in glamorous skin care.  I could be rich…

Rat Bastards…

Friends, it seem the Feds have been caught with their hands in the privacy cookie jar again.  Wired Magazine is reporting the discovery of a piece of malware that takes advantage of a Firefox security vulnerability to identify some users of the privacy-protecting Tor anonymity network.  big_brotherThe FBI is considered the prime suspect as the exploit sends identifying information to an IP address in Reston, Virginia; just outside Washington, D.C.  A reverse engineer dissecting the exploit says that this is probably the first time the FBI’s “computer and internet protocol address verifier,” or CIPAV has been captured in the wild but has been around since 2002.  It seems that the malware was designed specifically to attack the Tor browser.  The payload for the Tor Browser Bundle malware is hidden in a variable called “magneto” and the heart of the malicious Javascript is a tiny Windows executable hidden in a variable named “Magneto.” A traditional virus would use that executable to download and install a full-featured backdoor, so the hacker could come in later and steal passwords, enlist the computer in a DDoS botnet, and generally do all the other nasty things that happen to a hacked Windows box.  But the Magneto code doesn’t download anything. It looks up the victim’s MAC address — a unique hardware identifier for the computer’s network or Wi-Fi card — and the victim’s Windows hostname. Then it sends it to the Virginia server, outside of Tor, to expose the user’s real IP address, and coded as a standard HTTP web request.  Rat Bastards.  Friends, make sure your VooDoo is patched or up-to-date, the Feds are restless.

Kit Review – Voodoo Tactical 15-7866 Large MOLLE Tobago Pack, A-TACS…

Have you ever needed the right piece of kit?  I was going to be travelling soon and I needed a pack to haul about two days worth of gear including a suit.  I didn’t need a standard issue suitcase because 1) I wasn’t being saddled with the wife or kid which demanded packing for every contingency and 2) I didn’t feel like checking any luggage (not to mention being raped for $100.00 bag fee).  I thought about using my standard Blackhawk! A-TACS3-day pack which would have worked but left me with zero room for the inevitable gear you pick up on a trip.  I needed something I could comfortably get my gear into and not have to sit on or fight the zippers to close up.  As it turns out, I was on my way to the local gun range to get my Glock 35 hot.  After my usual 300 rounds, I was poking around the retail area and ran across the Voodoo Tactical display.  Nestled in with an assortment of gun cases, range bags & pouches was the Large MOLLE Tobago Pack, A-TACS in desert tan.  I greedily picked it up for a close inspection.  The pack itself is 20″ x 19″ (at the widest point) x 12″ with two large pockets on the back and two additional pocket on each side.  You could add to it using the many MOLLE PAL attachment points.  It also features internal pockets, two radio pouches and room for two hydration bladders of three liters each.  The thick padded adjustable shoulder and sternum straps can be removed to convert the pack to a carry-all by using the top and side nylon carry handles.  The pack is large but no crazy large.  Perfect.  At the MSRP of $ 159.95, I picked it up.  The next evening I began packing for the next morning’s flight.  As my wife always does, she folded up my suit with the same precision she puts into her Japanese Origami.  The articles fit nicely into the main section of the pack and were secured with the internal tension straps.  Nice.  My other two sets of clothes, shoes and assorted gear also fit nicely into the main section.  I closed that up and unzipped the main outer pocket.  Plenty of room for my notebook computer, reader, assorted charging cables and readily accessible for the friendly TSA guy with the rubber glove.  I still had one good sized pocket for my 1 quart sized clear plastic bag of liquids and shaving gear.  This left me with to radio pouches on either side of the pack.  I decided to use one for my water bottle and the other to temporarily hold my wallet, watch, etc… as I go to meet the aforementioned  TSA guy.  “…Be gentle and don’t touch my junk!…”  We’ll in the Voodoo Tactical A-TAC pack, I have definitely found the right piece of kit.  After it was fully loaded, I slung it over my shoulders and adjusted the shoulder-straps.  The pack was very comfy with or without the sternum strap.  In this case, I elected not to use the detachable kidney pad.  Even though this was just a weekender to Wisconsin and not a trudge through some Afghan $hit hole (what’s the difference?), the pack performed well.  I was able to navigate the airport terminals with my hands free and my load evenly distributed on my back.  Depending on your particular needs, Voodoo Tactical offers the A-TAC and several other packs and MOLLE gear at a reasonable price.  They are definitely worth a look.

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