Ninja Instructor Needed…

The residents of the Johnstown, PA. neighborhood of Moxham, were more than a little concerned by the sight of a man practicing his “Ninja moves” while sneaking around carrying a black baseball bat and wearing a hooded sweatshirt, another long shirt, a mask and a pair of gloves — all of them black.  ninjaTodd Kapcsos, 19 says he was just trying to help the police catch “bad guys”.  I guess this town is not without major crime; Kapcsos was lurking in the Moxham section of Johnstown, about 60 miles east of Pittsburgh. Several high-profile crimes have occurred in the neighborhood in recent months, including three of the city’s five homicides. The last one occurred Aug. 6 — a stabbing at a carwash — about three weeks after Kapcsos was arrested on charges of loitering, prowling at night and disorderly conduct.  I think Todd needs to get his money back from the “Acme Ninja School” or wherever you trained.  If you trained at all; you got caught because several people saw you lurking (not so much) in the shadows and thought you were a criminal.  I’ve got an idea, check out this site, it will help you in your career as a superhero.  WTF…Todd, here’s your sign…

UPDATE – 08/21/13 – I guess some people in Moxham, which has been plagued by drug-related crime over the past year, have embraced the would-be superhero, dubbing him the Moxham Ninja.  The Moxham Deli is selling T-shirts and bumper stickers with cartoon ninjas on them. Proceeds will go toward the Moxham Neighborhood Watch and Kapcsos’ defense fees.

UPDATE – 08/23/13 – The Moxham ninja has a movie deal

Dude, the cops have Facebook?

Friends, just like my previous post about the woman that hid the dead body of her boyfriend in her own freezer, This a$$hole deserves special mention.  Facebook_Gas_SiphonIt seems Mr. Baker needed some fuel but instead of zipping on down to the local gas station, he decided it would be much more convenient and a whole lot cooler to siphon it from a Kentucky (there’s your first clue) police cruiser.  Now, Mr. Baker thought this act of defiance was so cool that he decided to not only have his accomplice photograph the moment but post it on facebook as well.  Of course, the dumb-ass was arrested and charged with “theft by unlawful taking”?  WTF?  Anyway, Mr. Baker will now live in infamy as the “stupid-ass, facebook posting, Kentucky police cruiser gas siphoning, idiot next door.”  Mr. Baker, here’s your sign…

At last, Honesty…

Friends, a couple years back, my Wife and I were inching along in the typical Southern California traffic when I saw a panhandler with his sign.  It read: “…all I want is a beer…”  I thought what genius!, what honesty!.  At that moment, I observed someone a few cars up from me actually hand this guy a beer!  Of course!  Just like any well documented business plan, the panhandler’s sign was direct and to the point.  Good for him!  Fast forward to present day.  Panhandling_BoobsI ran across a  woman in Florida panhandling for… wait for it… BOOBS!  Now I can relate to panhandling for change, a meal or an insignificant amount of money or even a beer, but a major cosmetic surgery procedure?  Get a fu(k!ng job!  Christ!  Ok, ok, I will be the first to admit that boobs is on my list of desirable attributes a woman should have but to stand on a street corner with sign that reads “…not homeless, need boobs…”  It seems that this fund raising technique is gaining popularity because as the article points out, other women from Akron, Ohio and Phoenix, Arizona have made signs of their own.  I think I’ll make up a sign of my own: “…not homeless, just a lazy bastard…” or what about: “…not homeless, need cock enlargement…”  Wait!, I got it!, “…not homeless, just want to continue to burden society…”  Tina, here’s your sign…

She put the body in the freezer…

Friends, if you’re going to ‘off’ someone, don’t put the body in a freezer inside your own storage unit!.  Apparently a Ventura, Ca. resident Mary Hannan helped her son store the body of her boyfriend after he killed him.  “…What’s that?, you whacked who?, you want me to do what?… no problem; I’ll meet you at my storage unit.  No one will ever know…”  Idiots.  I don’t know how long the victim was on ice but he was reported missing in July 2011.  Damn!  If this would have happened somewhere in the deep south or ‘Bunny Kill, Kentucky”, I would have said “…Of course!, makes perfect sense…”  I like to think that those of us on the ‘Left Coast’ are a bit more sophisticated in our murders.  Out here, for example, we use chippers and acid to dispose of bodies.  At the very least we throw their ass in the ocean for the sharks!  Not that the Villainous VooDoo condones murder in any way (for the lawyers).  The point is put the body in someone else’s freezer, not yours.  Mary, here’s your sign…

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